When you're the only girl in a home, some days can be tough. You get picked on a lot anyway but there are days when your skin needs to be thicker than usual. Today was one of those days. Among the things I heard today, my new sunglasses look like "70s ho sunglasses." That was my husband, as if all the grief he gave me about them yesterday wasn't enough. 2 more favorites came when I tried on my dress I'm wearing to my 20 year high-school reunion. Will said it was the ugliest dress he'd ever seen. Caelan, "It looks like vomit there, blood there, blue snot there." This was not a collaboration. They were in separate rooms when I asked.
The fact that I had to call 5 different stores before I found one in stock is causing me to place my faith in, hard as it is to believe, the possibility that their fashion sense could very well be worse than mine.
And they weren't constrained by verbal boundaries today. There was a humorous 5+ minutes when I watched Shawn first search for my camera and then try to figure out how to use it. The idea was to humiliate me with my camera as payback for the humiliation I dish out on my blog.
This one's my successfully elusive one.
Rarely do I capture anything other than this from him.
So the humiliation was to be on me today as Shawn threatened to take photos of me in my swimsuit and post them on the internet.
I was quite smug watching him press the shutter release, knowing there was no memory card in the camera. A little teamwork eventually had them figuring that out, locating the one I could not hide before they saw it, and putting it in the camera. No amount of threatening me with turning dials and pressing buttons persuaded me to help him operate it from there.
He just chased me around the house (there's me in my "70s ho sunglasses")
until he was satisfied with this
and this. A chunk of my cheek hanging out and he felt avenged for all my past photographic indiscretions.
Then he called me a poor sport when I wouldn't show him how to post it on the internet.
Poor sport I am not. I'm an equal opportunity humiliator.
And this should finally (and unfortunately) put to rest the myth that the photo of the bikini-bearing self-wedgie-giving babe on Kristi's blog is of me.