Thursday, February 11, 2010
I missed posting about Will's birthday on Tuesday. It may seem odd to post this now that it's passed. But I still like to share this, to encourage people who are going through a difficult time to lean harder on their faith in God. Or if they're unsure of what faith in God really means, to question (yes, it's OK to do this), to challenge their minds to dwell on it and search for answers. I know my faith grew leaps and bounds through my trials with my 3 pregnancies. I'm grateful for everything I went through.
I originally posted this in 2007. The couch is different. His clothes are different. His interests are different. His teeth are different. The condition of Doggy's fur is different. So many things are different. But this is exactly how I feel, just as I did 8 years ago when he was born. To be completely forthcoming, it's how I felt, along with a lot of this.
(I'd credit the photo if I knew whom to credit!)
To the boy about whom I was asked, "Is that a good thing?" when I announced I was pregnant,
To the boy whom my body tried to deliver at 19 weeks gestation,
To the boy whom the doctors said my body would abort that night,
To the boy who was with me when I prayed that night,
To the boy who stayed tucked safely away that night,
To the boy who was with me when my cervix was stitched closed,
To the boy who was with me when the perinatologist said, "Someone was with both of us because I should not have caught this and you should have aborted,"
To the boy who was with me when the anesthesiologist said, "You need to always remember that this baby is still with you, not because of anything we have done medically. He is with you because God wants him here. You must never forget that."
To the boy who the doctors said had to stay inside me for 6 more weeks for an attempt to be made to save him and for me not to have hope,
To the boy who was with me when I ignored them and prayed those next 6 weeks,
To the boy who the doctors told me would never make it full term and would likely have physical and/or mental disabilities,
To the boy whose movements kept my hope alive as I lived on the couch for 4-and-a-half months,
To the boy who was with me for the holter monitor and the insulin injections,
To the boy who stumbled to the refrigerator with me during the late-night blood sugar crashes,
To the boy who we fought to keep inside me until week 37,
To the boy whose heart rate plummeted during delivery and caused chaos in the delivery room,
To the boy, the same boy whom we fought to keep inside me, whose shoulders got stuck during delivery and who couldn't get out,
To the boy who finally entered this world with the help of pushes on my abdomen from 3 nurses and Dad,
To the boy who came out 9 lbs, 2 oz, with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, but perfectly healthy,
To the boy who reinforced my faith, who proved to me God is always with me, who showed the sovereign power of God to doctors, family, and friends,
Happy 5th birthday, Baby. Thank you for the important lessons. I'll never give up on you.
P.S. Happy Birthday to Doggy, too. Thank you for comforting Will for the last 5 years.