Sunday, March 4, 2012

Observations From a Night Over the Porcelain Throne

03-03-12  church potluck

  • This photo has nothing to do with said night other than this is what I looked like about an hour before it all began. And I know if they'd have been with me, one of them would have been holding my hair and hugging me and kissing my cheek, one would have been laughing at me for having chunks hanging off my chin, and the other would have offered to go to the other room to get my blanket and pillow ready. After she found her own place to puke. We would have turned it into a party. Love these girls!

  • It's a good thing I didn't eat anything at potluck at the church so everyone didn't freak out, blame the potluck, and say, "I'm never eating church potluck again!" even though we all know 99% of people who say that go on to eat church potluck again.

  • Pizza Hut Supreme Pizza makes the absolute worst puke ever. Ever, ever, ever.

  • The standard overnight vomit preparation kit should include a bucket, Lysol cleaner, toothbrush and toothpaste, washcloths. What no one ever tells you is if you're 40ish, you also need pads. Otherwise, when you're finished cleaning the toilet after each visit, you'll also be cleaning a puddle off the floor and sneaking around in your dresser looking for clean underwear and socks. As if puking isn't humiliting enough you have to be reminded your bladder isn't as young as it used to be and you just peed your pants.

  • My husband says I'm the loudest puker he's ever heard. Also good for your self-esteem.

  • Will woke up and said, "Who threw up all night?" and then, "Wow. You're a loud thrower-upper."

  • Water is the devil when you're puking. Go for the ice.

  • My husband might be right. I might have slight hypochondriac tendencies. Now that I've slept most of Sunday away, I'm pretty sure I don't have cancer or exposure to some deadly environmental toxin at his grandma's estate sale this weekend.

    02-03-12 squirrel halter top_
    And since I started with a photo that has nothing to do with this post, I'll also end with one. My husband has both the most wickedly sharp sense of humor and the most ridiculously goofy. Love that you never know what to expect from him. He went with goofy on this one. My favorite item from his grandma's estate sale. If you know what it really is, please enlighten us!
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    5 comments:

    Asiyah said...

    Kendra,

    It's been a long time since I laughed so hard at a blog post. This was hilarious...and the bit about the 40 year old bladder? Oh, so true!

    Hope you're feeling better. BTW, I have no idea what that crocheted goodie is.

    Asiyah

    Jayna said...

    Laughing out loud at the last picture, but I also have no idea what that is. =)

    So sorry you were sick and hope you're back to 100% now. =)

    Anonymous said...

    I would have totally cleaned your puke and even gotten some clean undies and socks !! Our bladders are like sisters =) Just like us. Love you !!
    Jen

    Emily Pitts said...

    i have some bladder stories, no puking ones. not sure why, but for some strange reason this post makes me miss you.

    F.T said...

    Lovely pic with friends, I like the hair cut of you people. What have you created? I tried to know but unabled seems so interesting.

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